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    April 26

    Gifts

    He gave me

    Laughter and love

    Furniture he thought I needed

    Jewelry he said I deserved

    He gave me ten minutes of himself

    On the phone every day

    And an email to start my day

     

    He gave me his belief in me

    Memories of canning peaches

    After we’d picked them on a hot August day

    He gave me sand candles we made together

    A walk doused in a downpour of Oregon rain

    And said he felt love he had forgotten how to feel

     

    He couldn’t give me the one thing

    I really needed, really wanted

    He gave that to her.

    Now all I have is

    Furniture, jewelry, the last jar of peaches

    I can’t bring myself to eat

    All that stuff

    He gave me.

    April 11

    Tree People

    She sees tree people

    Standing out in the river

    Talking softly amongst themselves

    She says they stop talking when we

    Approach them and they

    Turn away, these shy tree folk

     

    The only others who can see them

    Are the grandchildren who speculate about

    Whether they are greek tree spirits or

    Japanese tree spirits, 'kodamas'

    She likes the theories

     

    She tells of how horrified and surprised

    The tree people were when Dad cut down

    The butterfly bushes

    Their eyes wide, their mouths

    Open in large O’s

    She says, ‘you should have seen them!’

     

    Silent on the trip home

    My daughter asks if I’m ok

    I don’t know how to be ok

    When my mother sees such things

    When the doctors tell us it’s dementia

    And it will be getting worse. 

     

    I hide for days, tearfully

    mourning my mother who is not gone yet

    Sherrie,  my friend, assures me

    My mother has just advanced to

    A spiritual plane the rest of us

     Haven’t reached yet

    And I thank the universe for her

     

    Ability to see the world this way

    For my children whose open minds

    Allow them to see tree spirits for

    My mother who sees tree people

    I may never have noticed their

    Spirits without her

    Now I will never look at them

    without seeing her